Growing up...

This weekend marked a momentous occasion in our house- Nicole got her ears pierced! On Tuesday she mentioned wanting to have it done and then on Saturday morning she asked Ryan and I. We had been waiting for her to want to do it- once she turned 5 we said that she could do it but she kept putting it of (“till I’m 8” she’d say). But Saturday morning she woke up wanting to get it done. Once we gave the ok, she herded Nate and Lauren into their rooms to get dressed so we could get going. She was extremely excited. And she was quite the champ- she brought her beloved Rabbie with her to snuggle with but no tears dropped from her eyes. She was a stud! Here is a photo documentary of the happenings…

Nicole super stoked on the way to get her ears pierced!!!

Nicole making her selection...

Waiting patiently while they prepared things...

The deed. (2 at once is definitely the way to go!)

The worst it got. No tears, no wailing! She was stronger than her mother!!
My favorite picture- Nicole beaming with pride, Daddy holding his baby girl in his comforting arms and a bag that declares to the world what just happened.My baby and me.

It was a little odd going to be that night thinking that my baby girl now has pierced ears, something that, in my mind, marks a little more mature stage. I sure do love this thing called life that the Lord has allowed me. I am blessed and enjoy these little moments.

Bugs, photography, and sin

What good is having a blog if you can't use it to post gratuitous pictures of your cute kids? Here are the latest of them with their Fall Festival costumes...

My 3 bugs
Nicole as a bumblebee princess

Lauren's innocent face as a butterfly princess.

And then her "don't smile" face...

Nate as the creepy spider.

On other news, I've been reading a really great book by Jerry Bridges, "Respectable Sins". It has been a good (though, hard) challenge to me. His book addresses those sins that we as Christians tend to minimize; anger, frustration, anxiety, lack of self-control, jealousy, ungodliness, vicarious immorality, etc. As believers, we often compare ourselves to the world and come up looking fairly clean- certainly not guilty of the extreme sins- theft, adultery, murder, hatred... that the world so blatantly flaunts. But Bridges challenges his readers to consider that even a 99% in God's class still earns you a "F"; that it is not the world's standards that we are to measure against.
To be honest, I've been a believer for 15 years now (actually to the day tomorrow) and I think I had gotten kinda stale. The communion plate would pass on a Sunday morning and the leader would encourage us to do business with God and I would come up short... I did not think that I was perfect in anyway (certainly, I'm NO Jesus) but yet, I couldn't name specific sins (and thus deal with them) in my life. I was tolerating those "acceptable" sins. I was very intrigued by the title of the book yet very cautious/hesitant about what it may have in store. God met me within those pages and exposed my heart in many ways, in many subtle sins. Was it/ is it hard to face up to my sin? Yes. But man, is it good. I feel fresh again. Alive again.

Jerry Bridges writes,"(So) we need to be honest and humble enough to admit our subtle sins in order to experience the love that comes through the forgiveness of those sins. But we must also face them in order to deal with them. The worst sin of all, in practical terms, is the denial of the subtle sins in our lives. We cannot deal with them until we admit their presence."

I have joy that God is certainly not done with me yet. As I learn that I must trust Him more (for He is the sovereign God), it also causes me to take more joy in the grace and love he pours out in abundance upon me. I Peter 5:5 says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." I desire his grace.

Read my mind

I haven't blogged for a while- I've been consumed! I've been bitten by the Twilight bug! For the last 2 weeks I've been a book zombie, disappearing from my family and responsibilities ("Yes, I know you're hungry. Just let me finish this chapter!!") Ryan hates that I enjoy reading but it has been nice to rediscover the joy of it all.

So, one day, while I was reading book 2 (New Moon) on the couch, Nicole came and sat next to me, snuggling. A couple of minutes passed until she started leaning her head in towards mine and I looked up at her, curious as to what she was doing. I assumed that she was just snuggling in tighter (it was one of those cooler days). Several more minutes passed and she was staring me down with her head mere inches from mine. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I want to hear that" she said, pointing down at my book. I told her that she couldn't hear it; that I was reading in my head. She looked at me confused so I showed her. "Think 'I love you Mom' in your head", I told her. After she looking intently at me for the next 30 seconds, I told her "I didn't hear that." She looked baffled and grabbed my head and bonked my forehead up against hers and sat still for another second. I started to giggle! "I still didn't hear that" I told her. So she goes further and places her head right up against my ear and sits still. I was in hysterics by this time! I then explained to her that we cannot hear each other's thoughts or words in their heads- it just doesn't work that way. She was shocked and bummed all at once.

Looking back, I don't know if that was such a good idea- telling a little child that I cannot hear her mind... I may have prevented some bouts of trouble with her thinking, "I cannot do this because Mom will know!" Well, at least I was able to teach her that there is always Someone listening to our thoughts.
Psalm 139:2- "You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar."
That's convicting plenty!!

Fall has begun

The cooler air in the mornings, the shorter days, the chestnut spikeballs stabbed in your feet... ah, the feel of fall. I am a little sad to see summer go but welcome this new change (well, all but the spikeballs). I like when it is cool enough to enjoy snuggling, the beauty of the colorful landscape, and baking in the oven. Yes, it does mean that we will be spending all spare time in the yard trying to rake up that "colorful landscape" and dealing with darkness at 6:00 but it is wonderful how God, even in his created world, gave us newness. It is not the "same old thing"; He's pretty amazing!!

But what is funny is that I can appreciate the change in the seasons but have a much harder time appreciating change in my personal life. I look at the seasonal difference as a blessing but see any variant of difference in my life as troublesome, awkward, and at times, fearful. Maybe its because I can predict the change of the seasons. Moving in to the fall means you'll need to start unpacking your jeans and long sleeves. There is a little predictability in the ensuing change whereas, in your own life, it is rarely, if ever, predictable how things are gonna go. This, I'm sure, is one of God's ways of ensuring our DAILY dependence upon him. And beautifully, he never changes. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever"- Hebrews: 13:8 Though we may be in flux, he is our rock which we cling to.

My recent change was my kidlets going off to school. We've now settled in to a bit of a revised schedule and it all is working out grandly. Lauren is coping with the absence of her brother and sister very well. Nate and Nicole absolutely LOVE school (Nicole the academics, Nate recess!) and I have adjusted to it all now. But change isn't over. God is working in me- the hardest kind of change- internal change. Let's hope that I've learned a lesson or two and welcome this change as best as I'm able! Because there is definitely some fear associated with this change as well as confusion. For now, I am clinging to my Rock and asking for help to endure. I may not be able to look out past it all now, but I am hopeful that once the change has occurred, I'll be adjusted to it all and be able to look back and say, "I'm glad the new season has arrived".

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.- Psalm 36:5

T-minus 5 days...

In five days I will be taking my children to kindergarten; them with their little backpacks, me with an entire box of tissues! I am excited but more so overwhelmed and nostalgic. I've tried not thinking about it over the summer but as the day approaches, I'm filled with sappy moments and random crying bouts. I'm not really sure why either! Some of it are my fears, but most, I guess, is the fact that this is one of the marks in their maturity. They are growing up! (You say, "No, duh! It happens to all of us!" I say "Just wait till it's your kid".) They are now school children. And it doesn't make matters any better when, at lunch today, Nicole mentions that she misses being four (because she liked being at home and dancing). A couple more tears were let loose.
My little guys are heading towards so many new firsts- first day of school, first time their name gets on the board (for talking, no doubt! They are Ryan's and mine.), first best friend, first little crush which are wonderful and exciting but also freaky and intimidating. And school isn't quite what it was when we were there (24 years ago- Wow!). But I also trust in the Sovereign God who loves my children with greater love than even I can give. (And that's a lot of love!) And He has taken great care of them up to this day. I just need to keep remembering that!

Good times, great people!

We just got back from our family (and hopefully annual) vacation to Davenport with our great friends, the Claassens. It was wonderful being in the salty air and not frying at 100 degrees! We actually had to wear jeans and sweatshirts in the mornings and evenings- in July! Unheard of in Redding!! It was a great time! The kids had never been to the coast before so they loved taking it all in (and even taking some of it home- sand in every crevice!!) We also had the opportunity to go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium- the kids were amazed at the 500 ton tuna! As Nicole said, "that's a big sandwich!"

Here's some pics from the trip:

The jellyfish exhibit @ Monterey Bay Aquarium

Us on Cannery Row

Nate showing me his muscles on the beach

Lauren taking it all in...

Cool starfish we found.

Me being a goof (shocking, I know!)

Our Crazy Crew!! Six kids worth of craziness~

Nicole on Fishermen's Wharf, Monterey

Nicole chasing the waves.

It was such a great trip- rockin' out to the Robots' soundtrack in traffic jams; eating junk food while on the road; peeling wet jeans off little bodies; the kids ordering Clam Chowder and pounding down Ryan's calamari (eww!); hanging out with good friends; exploring the ocean shore through fresh eyes; walking hand in hand with my daughter on the beach; digging to China in the sand (or at least trying to); soaking up God's beautiful creation. These surely are blessed days!

Can't wait 'til next year~

When life gives you lemons...

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself! Even in the midst of Ryan being gone for a week, I am being productive- dare I say even domestic! (Praise goes to the Good Lord who has kept my sanity for me!) On Sunday, I (with the help of friends) made a batch of lemon bars- from scratch! It was a lot of work grating the stinking lemon peels (something like 5 TBS!!) but it was delicious. Then on Wednesday, the kids and I made oatmeal cookies together. Today I actually ventured out and made lemonade from scratch- I may be a bit biased but it is the best tasting lemonade I've ever had. Which makes me wonder, "why haven't I tried it before"? And, "why can't I be this productive when Ryan is home?" Tonight my big plans go to completing some work for the office and scrubbing the bathrooms. We'll see how things go...

I've also been having some great and not so great moments as a mom recently. The great moments? Having a "spa day" with the girls! I went to the store and spent about $8 for little supplies to pamper the girls- body puffs, flowered nail files of their own, toe separators (just like in the real spas), new nail polishes, and of course a little snack of Junior Mints. Oh, yeah, this was full service! It was so much fun; the girls both speak of the day with great joy and can't wait for the next one. For me, it was a blast just being able to spend some time with the girls pampering them with love and listening to them giggle over being "like a mom". These days make me smile!

Then there are days that cause heartache... Today I came around the corner and saw one of my kids playing with an unknown toy. I asked them where they got it and instant shame swept their little face. I pulled them in the bedroom to talk w/them (without the prying ears of their siblings) and chatted with them. We had been over at a friends house the day before and I had seen one of these kinds of toys there so figured that this was one of theirs. Upon talking w/ them, they admitted to taking it from there. I then discussed that this was not ok and the consequences of their actions (their need to apologize to our friends, and the possibility that Dad would not be giving him a "you've been a good boy while I'm gone" gift). Their little heart was broken and sorrowful. They cried in my arms and then wouldn't eat lunch nor even talk with us at the table. It broke my heart to see my child like this but I understand the importance of their learning the lesson. Its also a bit embarrassing that it is my child that did this. I know, looking in on the situation, I'd see it as no big deal, just the naivety of a child desiring something that was not theirs- that they'd made a mistake. But as their mom, I want the lesson to be learned and not repeated. I've heard it once that children are the part of their mother's heart walking outside her body; therefore a mother feels joyful at her children's joy, sad when her children are sad. I can attest to this today.