I know, I know...

This page has been lonely. Nothing written for some time. Not necessarily out of lack of stuff to say but out of time in which to say it.

So, I'm still chugging along. God is growing me (though not necessarily as fast as I'd like... maybe he's sparing me from severe growing pains??). Lately, I've been contemplating what things I'd like to be known for... the things that first come to one's thoughts when thinking of me. I believe I know some of the immediate responses: organized, type A, debater, decent mom. And I'm also sure that I don't want to accept what some of the other immediate responses might be: stubborn, too type A, and others too criticizing to commit to text. But one characteristic I'd like to have more of is mercy. I am a very justice-based person; I believe people should not get away with injustice, either done to others or done against God. While that can be a good thing (certainly God values justice), it doesn't lend to extending grace and mercy (something that God greatly values and mentions SEVERAL times in the Bible). So currently I am trying to figure out what the appropriate balance is. I know that it is always better to error on the side of caution... would that be on the mercy side or justice side?? I also know that it is not mine to bring about judgment- that is something that should only be left to the One who made us and knows our hearts... So that is a bit of where I am. Certainly not arrived at the destination, but definitely on the journey there.

On the lighter side of things... Nathan and Nicole turn 5 tomorrow! I cannot believe that my little kids are so big! I clearly remember the night they were born. They were so small, so beautiful... so overwhelming!! Five years ago I started the best job of my life. It has been tough at times but no price can be put on the word "Mommy" coming from their sweet lips or the look in their eyes when they tell you "I love you all the way to the moon and back". I remember looking at those little bundles and thinking how frail they were (though at 6lbs and 7lbs 2oz they weren't too frail!) and now here they are mini people!! It is also amazing just how much love your heart can hold for each one of them- not either one greater than the other; very different and profound just the same. I am very blessed by the One who made this all possible- my God and my Creator. Man, have I got it good!!

Pulling weeds

So I alluded to God doing some hard stuff in me last week. Over the weekend, God met with me at the Planet Wisdom conference. The first night Mark Matlock was teaching about being the clay in the Potter's hand. Through that, and other skits by the ever hilarious Skit Guys, God encouraged me that this current trial would be for my benefit and that he is doing great (albeit, painful) things in me. One of the guys spoke about the ever popular verse, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) We so quickly hold to that verse, especially when we are going through trials and say, "But your not supposed to harm me, God!!" But if you look at the context (magic word here), there is a different perspective!

4 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." 8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

SEVENTY YEARS! Seventy years of exile!! And not until after that 70 years would God fulfill his gracious promise. These people needed some things worked out! And that was all in God's "plans to prosper" "not to harm" "to give a hope and a future". This was greatly encouraging to me. God does not have plans for my destruction (though sometimes it may feel that way) but rather, out of his love, plans for my betterment so that I will seek him and find him with my whole heart!! (v.13)

So, this weekend left me exhausted... yet encouraged that God has great plans and it is only through those plans can we be who He has designed me to be. I covet your prayers as God does this weeding through my heart and life.

So, I was looking through old photos (possibly getting ready for entry in the fair) and I came across this beauty. I love this image. Sitting on your Daddy's lap, enjoying a warm summer day, eating a (very unhealthy) hotdog, watching the crowds go by. Just wrapped up in the moment, soaking everything in and enjoying every minute of it. I've decided that I don't have enough days like this...

First Blog

So here is yet another thing to consume my time... isn't technology supposed to be giving me time, not eating it up??

Currently I am in an interesting place. God is working on some DEEP core matters in my own life and he is rocking my world. I see him trying to sort out in me what is my character and personality that he perfectly made as Justine and weeding out the sin and crap that I've so readily brought into this perfection. Its hard sometimes to allow God to work in you, mostly because of the pain and sacrifice it requires of you. But his work does not go without blessings; and it is to those that I am clinging currently. So, here goes the ride.