What are you doing New Year's Eve?

We had a great Christmas season this year! I am extremely thankful for the many joys that were a part of our festivities- visiting with family, playing games, baking treats, watching the Nutcracker ballet with the whole family- just to name a few. The kids this year were tons of fun! They enjoyed giving their gifts to others (Lauren was still pretty stuck on receiving them), cranking up the Chipmunk's Christmas music, and stopping by every random house staring at their light display. This year we even had our own Christmas Eve service (we weren't feeling too good to go to our church's service) in our living room by the Christmas tree. And though we had four (yes, 4!!) Christmas celebrations, it was a relaxing time. Several times throughout the day, I'd sit back and remember my past Christmas' (aunts and uncles goofing with the kids' new toys, playing Barbies with my cousins) and think these are the years that will fill my kids' memories. I believe we made some good memories this year.

And now the new year is only 7 hours away and Christmas is boxed up. And I am wondering what my New Year's Resolutions are... there are many things that I can not do or do more of but where do I want to focus? Where would God like me to focus? I'm thinking about having several in different areas of my life: the spiritual (I know, this one is all encompassing), the physical, parenting goals, wifely goals, etc. Is that allowed? So, here's to next year! May the memories we make be full of joy and bring glory to God.

'Tis the Season

"Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat... " We've been listening to the Muppets' Christmas album (often) and that means Christmas is on it's way. It is a holiday I dearly love! There are many joyous memories of Christmas' past and I am truly cherishing the thrill of experiencing it through the eyes of my children now that they are old enough to "get it". They hunt out any house that has lights up an request that Dad drive via that route at night. They are excited to pick out just the right gift for their brother or sister. They are tickled that they get to cut out Christmas trees and gingerbread men at school. They took great joy in helping decorate the tree at home, remembering ornaments from years past. Great joy fills their eyes and their hearts!

However, it seems that the older I get, the less mysterious and joyful the holiday is for those surrounding me. Many adults complain about the over-commercialism that it has become and cast a dark, grey cloud over the entire festivities! They throw their hands up in defeat. Ryan and I read a news article about parents writing to toy companies, complaining about the company's "over-marketing to their children" asking that they refrain from that in this current economy. And Ryan said, "It's sad that we complain and try to control our circumstances rather than controlling ourselves." Yes, we can gripe about how corporate America has turned Christmas into an opportunity to balance the companies' budgets. But Christmas can be about SO much more, what it's supposed to be about- the joy of celebrating our Savior's birth. I'm not going to say that I don't like the presents; yes, the present are nice (especially since I'm a gift giver and LOVE having monies set aside to lavish tokens of love on my friends and relatives whereas we do not have that luxury throughout the year). But if you're "cheesed" by the commercialism of it all, move on past that! We, as believers, have a responsibility to enJOY this celebration- really, apart from Christ's resurrection, the only celebration worth taking part in! So, don't fall into the traps of holiday sales and don't let your woes about it all wear you down. We have great reason to celebrate and shout with joy! Do things with your family that becomes traditions- make paper chains, bake cookies, act out the accounts of Jesus' birth- that don't dip in the pocket book. Christmas does not have to center around the shopping mall. We can control ourselves even if we can't control our circumstances. Let's take great joy celebrating our Savior's birth and sharing that love with those around us.

Luke 2:10-But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.

Growing up...

This weekend marked a momentous occasion in our house- Nicole got her ears pierced! On Tuesday she mentioned wanting to have it done and then on Saturday morning she asked Ryan and I. We had been waiting for her to want to do it- once she turned 5 we said that she could do it but she kept putting it of (“till I’m 8” she’d say). But Saturday morning she woke up wanting to get it done. Once we gave the ok, she herded Nate and Lauren into their rooms to get dressed so we could get going. She was extremely excited. And she was quite the champ- she brought her beloved Rabbie with her to snuggle with but no tears dropped from her eyes. She was a stud! Here is a photo documentary of the happenings…

Nicole super stoked on the way to get her ears pierced!!!

Nicole making her selection...

Waiting patiently while they prepared things...

The deed. (2 at once is definitely the way to go!)

The worst it got. No tears, no wailing! She was stronger than her mother!!
My favorite picture- Nicole beaming with pride, Daddy holding his baby girl in his comforting arms and a bag that declares to the world what just happened.My baby and me.

It was a little odd going to be that night thinking that my baby girl now has pierced ears, something that, in my mind, marks a little more mature stage. I sure do love this thing called life that the Lord has allowed me. I am blessed and enjoy these little moments.

Bugs, photography, and sin

What good is having a blog if you can't use it to post gratuitous pictures of your cute kids? Here are the latest of them with their Fall Festival costumes...

My 3 bugs
Nicole as a bumblebee princess

Lauren's innocent face as a butterfly princess.

And then her "don't smile" face...

Nate as the creepy spider.

On other news, I've been reading a really great book by Jerry Bridges, "Respectable Sins". It has been a good (though, hard) challenge to me. His book addresses those sins that we as Christians tend to minimize; anger, frustration, anxiety, lack of self-control, jealousy, ungodliness, vicarious immorality, etc. As believers, we often compare ourselves to the world and come up looking fairly clean- certainly not guilty of the extreme sins- theft, adultery, murder, hatred... that the world so blatantly flaunts. But Bridges challenges his readers to consider that even a 99% in God's class still earns you a "F"; that it is not the world's standards that we are to measure against.
To be honest, I've been a believer for 15 years now (actually to the day tomorrow) and I think I had gotten kinda stale. The communion plate would pass on a Sunday morning and the leader would encourage us to do business with God and I would come up short... I did not think that I was perfect in anyway (certainly, I'm NO Jesus) but yet, I couldn't name specific sins (and thus deal with them) in my life. I was tolerating those "acceptable" sins. I was very intrigued by the title of the book yet very cautious/hesitant about what it may have in store. God met me within those pages and exposed my heart in many ways, in many subtle sins. Was it/ is it hard to face up to my sin? Yes. But man, is it good. I feel fresh again. Alive again.

Jerry Bridges writes,"(So) we need to be honest and humble enough to admit our subtle sins in order to experience the love that comes through the forgiveness of those sins. But we must also face them in order to deal with them. The worst sin of all, in practical terms, is the denial of the subtle sins in our lives. We cannot deal with them until we admit their presence."

I have joy that God is certainly not done with me yet. As I learn that I must trust Him more (for He is the sovereign God), it also causes me to take more joy in the grace and love he pours out in abundance upon me. I Peter 5:5 says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." I desire his grace.

Read my mind

I haven't blogged for a while- I've been consumed! I've been bitten by the Twilight bug! For the last 2 weeks I've been a book zombie, disappearing from my family and responsibilities ("Yes, I know you're hungry. Just let me finish this chapter!!") Ryan hates that I enjoy reading but it has been nice to rediscover the joy of it all.

So, one day, while I was reading book 2 (New Moon) on the couch, Nicole came and sat next to me, snuggling. A couple of minutes passed until she started leaning her head in towards mine and I looked up at her, curious as to what she was doing. I assumed that she was just snuggling in tighter (it was one of those cooler days). Several more minutes passed and she was staring me down with her head mere inches from mine. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I want to hear that" she said, pointing down at my book. I told her that she couldn't hear it; that I was reading in my head. She looked at me confused so I showed her. "Think 'I love you Mom' in your head", I told her. After she looking intently at me for the next 30 seconds, I told her "I didn't hear that." She looked baffled and grabbed my head and bonked my forehead up against hers and sat still for another second. I started to giggle! "I still didn't hear that" I told her. So she goes further and places her head right up against my ear and sits still. I was in hysterics by this time! I then explained to her that we cannot hear each other's thoughts or words in their heads- it just doesn't work that way. She was shocked and bummed all at once.

Looking back, I don't know if that was such a good idea- telling a little child that I cannot hear her mind... I may have prevented some bouts of trouble with her thinking, "I cannot do this because Mom will know!" Well, at least I was able to teach her that there is always Someone listening to our thoughts.
Psalm 139:2- "You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar."
That's convicting plenty!!

Fall has begun

The cooler air in the mornings, the shorter days, the chestnut spikeballs stabbed in your feet... ah, the feel of fall. I am a little sad to see summer go but welcome this new change (well, all but the spikeballs). I like when it is cool enough to enjoy snuggling, the beauty of the colorful landscape, and baking in the oven. Yes, it does mean that we will be spending all spare time in the yard trying to rake up that "colorful landscape" and dealing with darkness at 6:00 but it is wonderful how God, even in his created world, gave us newness. It is not the "same old thing"; He's pretty amazing!!

But what is funny is that I can appreciate the change in the seasons but have a much harder time appreciating change in my personal life. I look at the seasonal difference as a blessing but see any variant of difference in my life as troublesome, awkward, and at times, fearful. Maybe its because I can predict the change of the seasons. Moving in to the fall means you'll need to start unpacking your jeans and long sleeves. There is a little predictability in the ensuing change whereas, in your own life, it is rarely, if ever, predictable how things are gonna go. This, I'm sure, is one of God's ways of ensuring our DAILY dependence upon him. And beautifully, he never changes. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever"- Hebrews: 13:8 Though we may be in flux, he is our rock which we cling to.

My recent change was my kidlets going off to school. We've now settled in to a bit of a revised schedule and it all is working out grandly. Lauren is coping with the absence of her brother and sister very well. Nate and Nicole absolutely LOVE school (Nicole the academics, Nate recess!) and I have adjusted to it all now. But change isn't over. God is working in me- the hardest kind of change- internal change. Let's hope that I've learned a lesson or two and welcome this change as best as I'm able! Because there is definitely some fear associated with this change as well as confusion. For now, I am clinging to my Rock and asking for help to endure. I may not be able to look out past it all now, but I am hopeful that once the change has occurred, I'll be adjusted to it all and be able to look back and say, "I'm glad the new season has arrived".

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.- Psalm 36:5

T-minus 5 days...

In five days I will be taking my children to kindergarten; them with their little backpacks, me with an entire box of tissues! I am excited but more so overwhelmed and nostalgic. I've tried not thinking about it over the summer but as the day approaches, I'm filled with sappy moments and random crying bouts. I'm not really sure why either! Some of it are my fears, but most, I guess, is the fact that this is one of the marks in their maturity. They are growing up! (You say, "No, duh! It happens to all of us!" I say "Just wait till it's your kid".) They are now school children. And it doesn't make matters any better when, at lunch today, Nicole mentions that she misses being four (because she liked being at home and dancing). A couple more tears were let loose.
My little guys are heading towards so many new firsts- first day of school, first time their name gets on the board (for talking, no doubt! They are Ryan's and mine.), first best friend, first little crush which are wonderful and exciting but also freaky and intimidating. And school isn't quite what it was when we were there (24 years ago- Wow!). But I also trust in the Sovereign God who loves my children with greater love than even I can give. (And that's a lot of love!) And He has taken great care of them up to this day. I just need to keep remembering that!

Good times, great people!

We just got back from our family (and hopefully annual) vacation to Davenport with our great friends, the Claassens. It was wonderful being in the salty air and not frying at 100 degrees! We actually had to wear jeans and sweatshirts in the mornings and evenings- in July! Unheard of in Redding!! It was a great time! The kids had never been to the coast before so they loved taking it all in (and even taking some of it home- sand in every crevice!!) We also had the opportunity to go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium- the kids were amazed at the 500 ton tuna! As Nicole said, "that's a big sandwich!"

Here's some pics from the trip:

The jellyfish exhibit @ Monterey Bay Aquarium

Us on Cannery Row

Nate showing me his muscles on the beach

Lauren taking it all in...

Cool starfish we found.

Me being a goof (shocking, I know!)

Our Crazy Crew!! Six kids worth of craziness~

Nicole on Fishermen's Wharf, Monterey

Nicole chasing the waves.

It was such a great trip- rockin' out to the Robots' soundtrack in traffic jams; eating junk food while on the road; peeling wet jeans off little bodies; the kids ordering Clam Chowder and pounding down Ryan's calamari (eww!); hanging out with good friends; exploring the ocean shore through fresh eyes; walking hand in hand with my daughter on the beach; digging to China in the sand (or at least trying to); soaking up God's beautiful creation. These surely are blessed days!

Can't wait 'til next year~

When life gives you lemons...

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself! Even in the midst of Ryan being gone for a week, I am being productive- dare I say even domestic! (Praise goes to the Good Lord who has kept my sanity for me!) On Sunday, I (with the help of friends) made a batch of lemon bars- from scratch! It was a lot of work grating the stinking lemon peels (something like 5 TBS!!) but it was delicious. Then on Wednesday, the kids and I made oatmeal cookies together. Today I actually ventured out and made lemonade from scratch- I may be a bit biased but it is the best tasting lemonade I've ever had. Which makes me wonder, "why haven't I tried it before"? And, "why can't I be this productive when Ryan is home?" Tonight my big plans go to completing some work for the office and scrubbing the bathrooms. We'll see how things go...

I've also been having some great and not so great moments as a mom recently. The great moments? Having a "spa day" with the girls! I went to the store and spent about $8 for little supplies to pamper the girls- body puffs, flowered nail files of their own, toe separators (just like in the real spas), new nail polishes, and of course a little snack of Junior Mints. Oh, yeah, this was full service! It was so much fun; the girls both speak of the day with great joy and can't wait for the next one. For me, it was a blast just being able to spend some time with the girls pampering them with love and listening to them giggle over being "like a mom". These days make me smile!

Then there are days that cause heartache... Today I came around the corner and saw one of my kids playing with an unknown toy. I asked them where they got it and instant shame swept their little face. I pulled them in the bedroom to talk w/them (without the prying ears of their siblings) and chatted with them. We had been over at a friends house the day before and I had seen one of these kinds of toys there so figured that this was one of theirs. Upon talking w/ them, they admitted to taking it from there. I then discussed that this was not ok and the consequences of their actions (their need to apologize to our friends, and the possibility that Dad would not be giving him a "you've been a good boy while I'm gone" gift). Their little heart was broken and sorrowful. They cried in my arms and then wouldn't eat lunch nor even talk with us at the table. It broke my heart to see my child like this but I understand the importance of their learning the lesson. Its also a bit embarrassing that it is my child that did this. I know, looking in on the situation, I'd see it as no big deal, just the naivety of a child desiring something that was not theirs- that they'd made a mistake. But as their mom, I want the lesson to be learned and not repeated. I've heard it once that children are the part of their mother's heart walking outside her body; therefore a mother feels joyful at her children's joy, sad when her children are sad. I can attest to this today.

Absense makes the heart grow fonder...

I'm alone. Ryan is in Mexico with the High School Students and I am here in the house with three (crazy) children. Nothing like those times to make you miss your best friend and love. Its interesting how you don't show appreciation for something until you lack it... I love how he makes dinner for our family when I have no ideas left in my mind. I love how he sends me out on Girl's Night when he can see I've had enough. I love how he calls me midday just to tell me he loves me and is thinking of me. He lets me sleep in on occasion. He helps pickup the house once the kids have gone to bed. He always is the one to pick up the dog doo (I hate that job!). He takes care of broken things around the house (p.s.- does anyone know how to fix a broken towel rack??) I love how he snuggles next to me to keep me warm. I love his tender kisses on the back of my neck while I'm doing the dishes. I love falling asleep talking about our day, telling him a funny story about our kids or even discussing which one's gonna be in charge of making breakfast the next morning. I miss him!

Lazy Summer Days

The summer months are incredibly busy! We are gearing up for Ryan's trip to Mexico (in less than 2 days) and have been trying to enjoy our warm summer days.

Today I had quite the rewarding aftern oon: the kids were playing in a little inflatable pool they got for their birthday and I reclined and read a book (I'm addicted to Harry Potter- I'm on book 5! Gotta have something to do while Ryan's gone, right?). Feeling the warm breeze roll over my skin as I get lost in another world is grand! It's hard not to feel guilty when you're laying there doing absolutely nothing, but it felt great!! There'll be time for laundry later... he, he.


Here are some recent pics I took- my sister is teaching me how to use the manual settings on my camera after I've owned it for almost 2 years. Pathetic, I know! (Thank you Rosetta!!) Maybe one day I'll be able to take some photography classes so I can pretend to know what I'm doing even more! I have started a flickr account, thanks to the encouragement of Erin, and that has given me lots of great ideas- as exampled with the lemons for eyes!



I also got to spend an afternoon with my adorable niece! She is so wonderful!! I love watching her grow and watching my sister be an awesome mother to her. It is amazing that it was only 2 years ago that I was there with Lauren- and yet we now seem so many years from that stage. Proof that we've got to appreciate the stage that they are in now and soak up as much memories as we can... That said, I'm gonna go play some Barbies with the girls!




Miss Myra lights up every time you start to sing "Patty-Cake" and starts doing the moves. How can you not smile?

Yesterday I found out how I did at the fair. As always the ones that I think are going to be great don't do anything, and the ones I think are "eh" win... go figure. These are my entries:

First place- 2007 Fair

Third Place- Farm Animals

I didn't win anything for the rest of these but thought you might like to see them:

Abstract(Lots of entries of the bridge here)

Children(The one that won on in this category was funny-
a little girl holding a frog in each hand; very cute!)

Flowers(This is one category that I didn't understand the judges decision)

Portraits and Character Studies

Still Life
(One of the winners for still life was balloons- that one confused me BIG time!
They move! Quite the opposite of still!!)

Water(Some beautiful water shots were there!!)

Wildlife

There were some awesome photos this year! It's fun looking at other people's creativity and admiring the beauty God created that they captured. But oddly enough, some of the second place winners I thought were better than the first place winners; and there were some there that didn't even place but looked much better than the first or second places... that is why I say that the judging was odd. (Not just me, but Ryan and Erin agreed too!) And I'm not saying this out of bitterness, that mine should have won- the ones that I thought were better were complete strangers to me. I think that they need to have the judges on-site at the fair so they can defend their decisions- some of them I just really didn't understand so any insight would have helped. Erin and I want to be the judges next year; we'd set it straight! ;)

So, there you go. Shasta County Fair 2008- not the ones I was thinking, but content anyway. If you have the time you should go look and appreciate the very beautiful images.

Some milestones

The month of May carried with it some significant milestones. First it was Nathan and Nicole's birthday. They turned 5 years old this month. To me, that is amazing! Where did the years go? How did I get to be a mother to Kindergarteners?? I often look at them and can see their sweet little faces in the hospital the night they were born. I cannot believe that in less than 3 months, I will be dropping my children off for the first time at the classroom doors. You'd better believe that I'll be covering them in kisses and tearing up (that is if I can hold it together and not let loose until I get to the car!). And if that isn't enough for a mom to deal with, the day after their birthday Nicole says to me in all seriousness, "Mom, now that I'm five, can I drive the car?" I know this is gonna come way too soon!

Nate also finished up his last game of soccer this month. This was our families first introduction to organized sports- and Ryan's introduction to coaching. (Did I mention that Ryan didn't know much about soccer before the season started?) It was a new step in the life of our little family! Oh, boy- you should have seen Nathan's eyeballs when he saw his trophy, too. He says to me, "I think it real. Real gold!" He is quite taken to it now; anyone who stops by the house gets to see it (whether they asked or not)... He's even taken to sleep with it as I captured in this picture tonight! :) He had gone to bed without it but when I went to check on him there it was with him in bed- let's hope that it doesn't break; there would be tears for sure!!





But what I think is the best part of this month is that Ryan and I celebrated our 9th anniversary on the 22nd. I consider myself very blessed to have this man call me his wife. I love being married to him; I love that he is my best friend; I love how he loves me! I love that I get to share life with him. I love that I continue to fall more in love with him through the days and weeks. I love our marriage!
Thank you God for blessing us so! You are quite amazing!!

I know, I know...

This page has been lonely. Nothing written for some time. Not necessarily out of lack of stuff to say but out of time in which to say it.

So, I'm still chugging along. God is growing me (though not necessarily as fast as I'd like... maybe he's sparing me from severe growing pains??). Lately, I've been contemplating what things I'd like to be known for... the things that first come to one's thoughts when thinking of me. I believe I know some of the immediate responses: organized, type A, debater, decent mom. And I'm also sure that I don't want to accept what some of the other immediate responses might be: stubborn, too type A, and others too criticizing to commit to text. But one characteristic I'd like to have more of is mercy. I am a very justice-based person; I believe people should not get away with injustice, either done to others or done against God. While that can be a good thing (certainly God values justice), it doesn't lend to extending grace and mercy (something that God greatly values and mentions SEVERAL times in the Bible). So currently I am trying to figure out what the appropriate balance is. I know that it is always better to error on the side of caution... would that be on the mercy side or justice side?? I also know that it is not mine to bring about judgment- that is something that should only be left to the One who made us and knows our hearts... So that is a bit of where I am. Certainly not arrived at the destination, but definitely on the journey there.

On the lighter side of things... Nathan and Nicole turn 5 tomorrow! I cannot believe that my little kids are so big! I clearly remember the night they were born. They were so small, so beautiful... so overwhelming!! Five years ago I started the best job of my life. It has been tough at times but no price can be put on the word "Mommy" coming from their sweet lips or the look in their eyes when they tell you "I love you all the way to the moon and back". I remember looking at those little bundles and thinking how frail they were (though at 6lbs and 7lbs 2oz they weren't too frail!) and now here they are mini people!! It is also amazing just how much love your heart can hold for each one of them- not either one greater than the other; very different and profound just the same. I am very blessed by the One who made this all possible- my God and my Creator. Man, have I got it good!!

Pulling weeds

So I alluded to God doing some hard stuff in me last week. Over the weekend, God met with me at the Planet Wisdom conference. The first night Mark Matlock was teaching about being the clay in the Potter's hand. Through that, and other skits by the ever hilarious Skit Guys, God encouraged me that this current trial would be for my benefit and that he is doing great (albeit, painful) things in me. One of the guys spoke about the ever popular verse, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) We so quickly hold to that verse, especially when we are going through trials and say, "But your not supposed to harm me, God!!" But if you look at the context (magic word here), there is a different perspective!

4 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." 8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

SEVENTY YEARS! Seventy years of exile!! And not until after that 70 years would God fulfill his gracious promise. These people needed some things worked out! And that was all in God's "plans to prosper" "not to harm" "to give a hope and a future". This was greatly encouraging to me. God does not have plans for my destruction (though sometimes it may feel that way) but rather, out of his love, plans for my betterment so that I will seek him and find him with my whole heart!! (v.13)

So, this weekend left me exhausted... yet encouraged that God has great plans and it is only through those plans can we be who He has designed me to be. I covet your prayers as God does this weeding through my heart and life.